Five instant confidence tricks

Lacking confidence/biting nails

There are many things that could prevent us from having the life that we want to live, filled with our ideal home, friends, partner, fulfilment and happiness. A key one is lacking the self confidence to change things about ourselves. Although we all have times in our lives when we are not confident, there are many simple to use techniques that can help you through these times (I have found that nail biting rarely helps!). Here are my top 5:

1. Stop holding yourself back by being concerned with what other people will think about you. The average ‘other’ person has a very short attention span when thinking about other people (you), because they spend too much time worrying about themselves to give much thought to your endeavours! We all overestimate the attention span of others, but it is about as short as our own (or the proverbial goldfish). It is what you think about yourself that matters.  Change this and it really won’t matter to you what others think.

2. Focus on what you are good at. Make a list of everything that you can do reasonably well, the nice things that you have done for other people and the achievements in your life. Write down the list and keep it somewhere that you can re-visit it when you need an instant confidence boost. It is a first step in developing positive self talk.

3. Use visualizations to improve self confidence by running through positive scenarios in your mind just before or during periods where your self esteem is challenged. When your visualizations are positive enough and real enough you can make massive advances in your self confidence levels. Your mind is a very powerful tool, so visualise yourself being the confident person you want to be. Imagine you’re already in the job or relationship that you want –fill the view with the sounds you would head (e.g. people giving you compliments), add big and colourful images of you being confident. How would you walk? Notice how your body feels. Remember, create what you want in the present  moment and be that person that you want to be.

4. Pay attention to your inner dialog by stopping yourself whenever you are thinking negative or self-defeating thoughts.  Even worse, do not state these negative thoughts out loud to other people. By substituting positive visualizations for negative self-talk you can instantly improve self confidence. Remember what you are good at (point 2). Spend the next few days noticing what you say to yourself.  Whenever you find that you are not being positive, stop and immediately say something positive.  It is a habit that you need to practice.  Remember that you are excellent at being you.

5. Breathe deeply from your belly. Put your hand on your chest and take a deep breath.  If your hand moves, then you are breathing from your chest rather than your abdomen, and not filling your lungs fully.  Imagine a balloon being inflated through your navel, or look at the way babies breath when they are laying down.  All that extra oxygen gives you power, confidence and clarifies your thinking.  It shifts your energy and gives you the best possible boost.

To your confident self!

Amanda